Seeking Validations From Others Makes You Unattractive and Less Creative
We all have that one friend who keeps posting something on Instagram every single hour, and at some point in our lives, we are that one friend.
The modern world built by the big companies for their own benefits, and we are just victims that made them richer every single day, by actions that we took.
Nowadays, how attractive you are based on how many people liked your picture, how gorgeous you are based on how many people commented on your post, you thought that the more the likes the more satisfied you are, but in the end, there’s no certain amount of likes that can fulfill your satisfaction.
Social media has created an urge for us to seek validations from others even more, and now, thanks to the big companies, it’s easier than ever to do it.
I’m an active user of Instagram, I have my own account just like billions of others, and I tend to observe my friend's activities on it. There’s one guy that likes to keep posting about his expensive activities that he’s doing, okay seriously, we all get it that he’s privilege enough to experience that, but why?.
Why does he keep posting everything about his luxuries?
Trust me, first of all, it’s not even my business to bother about what he posts, people might just “Ken, you’re just jealous of him”, maybe yes or maybe no, but the more I’m curious about his motives to do it, the more I realized that he was just seeking for validations from others.
But as I’m researching for this article, I read an article written in Insider, I was kind of relieved that I’m not the only person who took this matter a little bit serious — as serious as making an article of it —
‘Flexing’ or bragging about your expensive things may stop you from making friends, research shows — Insider.com
I’m not saying that I’m that perfectly strong guy who doesn’t seeks validations from others, I have been there, experiencing that kind of stuff with myself, I have always wanted to see myself as an ‘intellectual’ person, so I keep posting about smart thingy activities that I did, about my learning process or even my study schedule.
Here come’s the questions that we have been waiting for,
Does it work? Do my followers think that I’m an intellectual type? Well, a little bit.
Does that make me attractive? A huge no.
Seeking validations is something normal as human beings, in fact, we have been doing it since we were kids, remember the time when we told our parents about the good stuff that we did so they can buy us a new bicycle?
When we are used to seeking validation from others, we are more likely to feel depressed and unsatisfied with ourselves.
Understanding social media
Every big company has something to offer to its customers and looking at Instagram, they’re using ‘attraction’ as their main selling point. The worst part is, we are the ones that creating those ‘attractions’ for Instagram, and we also the ones who bought them, so at the same time we are buying our own products.
For every picture that you posted, you were given a reward in exchange for every time people like your post. I know that it feels good when people like what you post, it’s also feel good to me when people like my articles, that’s mean they are paying attention.
But it makes us less creative because we are only focused on the outcomes,
“Why this picture has more likes than this one? Maybe it’s the background or the clothes that I wore?”
The outcome is something that is beyond our reach, we can’t do anything about it. How many people like your post or how many people read my article, that’s the variables we can’t control.
This year I promised myself to write more than ever, maybe more than in the last 10 years combined, I promised myself that I don’t care how many people going to read my articles, I’m always going to do it anyway because I have a goal to type 1 million words in a year.
Now typing 1 million words seems a big thing, but that’s something that still within my reach, that’s something that I can do.
Forgetting about ourselves
We became more and more fulfilling what people need in order to get more validations, and forgetting the most important part, ourselves.
The next time you have doubt within yourselves, if you need some validations, there is always one person that will help you, that one person is yourselves.
It’s not about what people think of you, it’s all about what you think.
If you think you are rich — or even a smart person — you don’t have to post something about it in order to make people believed you, if you believed that you are that person, and that’s enough.
Because you are what you believe.
I know depending on ourselves even when it comes to validations isn’t something that you can do instantly, it takes practice, and I’m also still practicing this.
Always remember that we are unique, humans made to be different and you don’t have to follow others, you don’t need to fulfill what other people want, the most important thing is to focus on yourself because, in the end, that’s the only person who is going to stick with you for the rest of your life.
