How I Accidentally Destroying My Friend’s $30,000 Worth of Business
This probably the worst thing I have ever done.
“What do we do know?” That question came from a desperate 47 years old man, who had just spent his entire life saving for a business that doesn’t work. That guy is my friend, and I feel that I’m contributing to his fall.
During my college years, I have spent most of my time learning everything about the coffee business, because I have always dreaming to have my own coffee shop one day. That’s how the universe brought me to this man.
The story of the guy is a little bit mysterious because I don’t think he really likes to share things about himself, he’s kind of a shy and closed person, so I don’t know much about his personal lives, and I’m not trying to get involved in things that he’s not comfortable to share with.
He just resigned from an oil company, he was given the responsibility of making oil rig on the sea for the oil company, at the first time when I was listening to his story, I thought he was an engineer, but surprisingly he graduated with an economics major.
I could imagine nothing rather than money flows in when he mentioned that he used to work for an oil company, we connected so fast because we shared a common interest in coffee, we both wanted to jump into the coffee business, that’s where we became partner, but maybe I was the worst partner that he could ask for.
“Shall we take the risks?”
That’s another question the asked me, he’s 47 years old and has richer experiences in life than me, I was just 20s back then, still studying and knew nothing about coffee or business, and the answer for that question from that student was “We should risk everything we have to make it work”.
The answer that came from my own mouth, I wished I never said it, that answer came from a kid who spent his life watching rags to riches stories and wanted to become another ‘Corleone’.
To run a coffee business there are basically two types of business, the first one is the supplier where they supply the coffeeshops, for coffee beans, syrups, foods, cups, and other things. The next one is the coffee shop itself, where its main job is to process those ingredients into products.
Most people have to choose either you wanted to be the supplier or to make the coffee shop instead, unless you’re rich enough where you can have both of them. For us, me and him, it was both of them, but the thing is, we were not rich, it was just pure mistakes that we made.
At first, we opened a small coffee shop with any cheap tools that we could find on the market, because at that time the coffee shop business was on its blooms, it was cool to have your own coffee shop where you can enjoy most of your time there and still making money at the same time.
We prepared it for months, we painted the coffee shops, we chose our coffee beans and everything until it’s done, he invested a lot, most of the money came from his own pocket, I was just a student and I didn’t have any money to spend, so I just helped him with things, and become one of the consultants for the business.
We were so optimistic but also realistic at the same time, I told him that we need to be patient because the coffee shop would take so much time to grow, for a new coffee shop that doesn’t even have its regular customers yet, it was stupid to hire 2 workers, but somehow we did hire 2 baristas working in shifts.
After months and months of struggling with selling the coffee, the owner said to me that maybe its time to move on and become the supplier, after conducting a little bit of research, becoming the supplier has better prospects because the ratio of supplier and coffee shops is quite low.
But the main problem was, we did invest most of the money to buy coffee shop types of equipment, and only a little bit left to buy the equipment like a roasting machine and coffee beans for supplying, but somehow we managed to fulfill our needs.
It was tiring and requires a lot of work, I also had to split my time because I need to attend classes and working on the business in the evening, I barely can play or just chill like I always do. This is where it gets interesting.
Idealistic vs realistic
When we were running low on funding, I told him to sell our useless coffee shop equipment because we don’t need it anymore and invest more in the roastery stuff, but he refused to do it.
I do remember he said “Some days, this equipment will be much more expensive, so let’s have it as an investment” but me and him knows it very well, that was stupid excuses. He loves his equipment.
The thing to understand is, with him, having a coffee shop is not always about business, maybe it’s just a dream for him to have his own coffee shop or jumping into the coffee business, don’t get me wrong but I admire his optimistic views.
He always mentioned that “Is not about making money but to get my coffee get to known, that’s my priority” It was a good reason, but another thing that you also need to understand is that, the this-not-working business was the only income that he has.
That idealistic view is good to keep the morale high, but let’s talk realistically you need money to keep your business afloat, in order to get your products known by the public you need to survive first, and it takes fuel, a lot of fuels.
I do remember having my first fight with him, it was over an old espresso machine, a really classic La Pavoni from 1972, I always said to myself that it was a stupid deal, unless you’re rich enough you just can’t buy collector’s items, especially when you’re using it for everyday uses, the machine meant to be hanged up in the wall just for displays purpose only.
He bought it without even consulting me about it, I was a little bit disappointed with that move that he made, but yeah, it was his right, it’s his money in the first place, so I moved on and try not to bother him again with that deal.
The more I spent time with him, the more I realized that he’s an idealistic person, and one day I was realized that he never really wanted to jump into the coffee business, he just loves coffee and his fancy equipment.
The guy couldn’t even stand for criticism he always telling stories about how great his coffee beans and how inferior other roasteries were, but the thing is, he never tasted another coffee beans from other roasteries, so how you can make a comparison when you have nothing to compare?.
The thing that was wrong with his idealistic view, he wouldn’t take people suggestions, he didn’t even listen to the customers, because in his mind, it’s not about what the customers want, it’s about what he wants.
Then I accidentally destroying his business
So where were my mistakes in this? after reading words by words you’re probably wondering what did I have to do with this? But I was also contributed to it, do you have any ideas why? Because I’m being indifferent.
Elie Wiesel said,
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference”
What Elie said was right, I helped him destroying his own business by simply not doing something about it, I’m not a very straightforward person, no matter how much I hated that 1972 espresso machine deal was, I never had the courage to say it to him.
To watch his business slowly fading, and I still don’t have the courage to say it, because I don’t want to break his heart, I don’t want to hurt him, and I know with an idealist person, there are things that undebatable when you debate those things, you’re practically physically attacking him.
The worst part is, I kept pushing him to do great things, giving him encouragement to wake up in the morning and work again knowing that this is most certainly won’t work.
He was at the edge of the cliff and I keep pushing him closer to the edge until he fell, I always thought that being a good friend is always about supporting your friend, but now I realized, a good friend is someone who dares enough to say you’re wrong when you’re making mistakes.
That friend might get mad at you, because you’re questioning their dreams, it feels like that you don’t believe in them, but if the person is wise enough to realize it, you’re actually supporting them even though with no encouragement.
A good friend is someone who stands beside you, and says everything bad about you, saying how wrong or right you are and still standing beside you until you fix those things.
Learning from what I have done
Realizing that being indifference could be really destructive, I know it’s hard to be a very straightforward person, especially to someone that we really care about, we are afraid, we don’t want to break their hearts.
But if you really care about them, you tell them, you tell them the truth, it’s always will be worth the risk because in the end we always want the best things for people that we loved the most.
At the beginning of the story, I told you how being idealistic could destroy you, but at the same time, being idealistic is what make you do things, it's what drive you. Try to find the balance, because only by being realistic you can survive.
After what we had been through, and the fall, things finally taking into shape now, I’m being more direct with him, saying things that I wanted to say to him in order to make things work, and I appreciate how he’s willing to listen and apply my suggestions now.
I’m still learning and learning is an endless process, they always said that “experiences are the best teacher” its true, but you don’t have to make the same mistake as I did, you can always just learn from other people mistakes.
