For Everyone Who Stays In The Fight
I was on my caffeine routine the other day, for the last three years I have always ordered the same thing — An iced Americano with an extra shot. Mostly, I will open my laptop and do more work, but it’s not rare that I’d talk with the workers in that coffee shop.
One of the people who work in the kitchen talks with me, we were joking about something, and then as the sky gets darker, the conversation gets a little deeper. He began telling stories about the odd jobs he had done, basically working pretty much everything just to make a living for himself, his wife, and two of his children.
I never told him this that day, but I’m truly mesmerized and proud by all the things that he had done, the sacrifice, and the struggle as a father. Beyond the laughter and jokes that he always delivered, I knew there was something that kept him awake in the middle of the night — Something that he will probably never share with anyone else.
It’s not the first time that people opened up to me and told me about their deepest struggles. I’m not quite sure why they do that to me, I once even asked a friend of mine “Why are you telling me all of these things?”, he replied, “Because I feel that I could trust you”.
It’s a hate-and-love relationship between me and people telling me their stories. I, on the other hand, is the kind of person who is not giving a damn about other people’s problems, but there are some people in my life that I’d gladly bend that rule, and listen to them. Maybe it’s just a gift that people could trust me, maybe it’s a curse? I’m not exactly sure about it.
When you heard lots of different struggles that people are facing, you will be a little gentle to them, knowing that this person must be fighting something in his life that you probably don’t even know. The best thing about all of these struggles is that they could always have given up, but somehow they didn’t — They refused and rebelled against fate.
And if there is something beautiful in this world about the human being, for me it’s that thing — To stay up in the fight even though giving up is always easier. Trusting life once again even though it lets you down more than one time in the past. I could write about my struggles and tell you how many times I refused to give up, but that would be a cliche isn’t it? So let’s make this article about you.
I once wrote an article about basically “Don’t give a damn about other people” and I got a comment telling me how wrong it is to write something about that. She pretty much didn’t read the article, I wrote in that article that “It’s not about not caring to other people at all, it’s about focusing on people that matter the most in your life, and most of all, focus on yourself”.
I don’t know you, and I don’t know your struggles. But if we get to meet one day, let me buy you a coffee of your choice, as a token of my thanks for reading this article, and for refusing to give up. I wanted to tell you that you’re not alone who is feeling the burden in this life, other people are struggling as well in their own ways.
Knowing that you’re not the only person who is failing their first business, getting fired from their jobs, or getting rejected, you will feel a little bit of calm in your mind — Knowing that you’re not alone who is feeling this way. And when you have to, you should ask for other people’s helps.
I’m the kind of person who has always relied on no one other than myself, even when I had to, I refused to ask for help because in my mind “It’s not their problems, it’s yours alone, why do they have to help you?”, more or less I’ve always thought that asking for help is a weakness. But I was wrong,
“Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s refusing to give up”. — Kenny R.
As much as I wanted to hear my friends’ success stories, I want to hear their deepest struggles and ask for my help when they need it. Sometimes, it’s not they don’t want to help you, but it’s because they don’t know that you’re in need of help.
A few years ago, I was a Barista at Starbucks, and one of my friends the security guard at my store asked me if I have spared money that he could borrow. He said his son is having a birthday soon, and he wanted to give him something nice. Without a doubt, I said yes, and we ended up buying the cake together for his son.
He later thanked me and asked me why did I help him? I replied, “Because last birthday of mine, I bought my own cake”. I know exactly how it feels when people forget about your birthday, and I do know exactly how it feels when people remember it. From that moment on, we became good friends, until his work contract expired and move on, I came to the store to celebrate his last day of work.
I’m still quite young and still navigating how life is supposed to be lived. I used to be a person who cares too much — Until my own kindness sabotaged my own worth. To a person who doesn’t even care about other people. But there is a tiny line that lingered in my head until now, it’s from someone that I’ve known for years, she said to me:
“Thank you for always being kind to me, keep being Kenny and bloom gracefully”.
Sometimes, I just remember that tiny lines without any triggers. And it reminds me of how I used to care about another human beings. I think the silver lining between being too caring and not caring at all, it’s somewhere in the middle. It’s not about caring for everyone you meet, because most of the time they don’t worth it. It’s about caring for certain people in your life that you value the most.
Whatever you do and wherever you are, remember that life is full of struggles and it will always be like that. Don’t shoot yourself down when you hit a rock bottom, ask for help because, in the end, you’re not fighting this alone — Even a stranger on Medium like me supporting you.